Monday, October 13, 2008
Saturday, October 11, 2008
My dear aunt. THE steel magnolia of them all. She was the family event planner. Knower of all rules of etiquette, seating, and the like. It all seemed so effortless to her, just like her attention to everyone in our huge family, what year each graduated high school and college, their birthday (usually down to what time and what they weighed), their favorite color, scent, flower, food, and dress or shoe size. No details ever lost on aunt Bucky as we called her.
She passed away a week ago while I was on the other side of the Atlantic. I tried to remain calm, which I did. And then I lost it. I don't know how long I sat there. I don't know how long I stared at nothing. I don't know how long I lay collapsed in the shower crying. But I thought of her and how she would handle it. I went to the church steps away from my Paris apartment, Saint Ambroise, and took in the majestic feeling, said some prayers, lit a candle, and then made the plans to be with family.
She was the one who called me a steel magnolia.....
She lived in a small town in conservative Virginia. She was always perfectly put-together just like her perfectly decorated yet welcoming home. She was very gracious and never judged me. She always encouraged me in my work as well as life and the many gypsy adventures. She laughed at my funny stories and consoled me in bad times, but always gave a sense of hope.
I keep having these random good flashes of moments with her. I keep thinking of the photos from Paris I would show her. And then I realize again she is gone. It goes to show, as her son, my cousin pointed out: None of us know when our time will come.
That doesn't mean you should be afraid. I believe instead, it means we should live each day full of love and hope and appreciate those around us :) I will miss her terribly. Its been difficult to say the least. But my gosh, what a gift to have had someone like that in my life and to have her love live on.
Take care people. Be kind to one another. Don't take good people in your life for granted. Be that maker, lover, and keeper....
From her memorial service:
Briefly It Enters, and Briefly It Speaks--Jane Kenyon
I am the blossom pressed in a book,
found again after two hundred years. . . .
I am the maker, the lover, and the keeper. . . .
When the young girl who starves
sits down to a table
she will sit beside me. . . .
I am food on the prisoner's plate. . . .
I am water rushing to the wellhead,
filling the pitcher until it spills. . . .
I am the patient gardener
of the dry and weedy garden. . . .
I am the stone step,
the latch, and the working hinge. . . .
I am the heart contracted by joy. . .
the longest hair, white
before the rest. . . .
I am there in the basket of fruit
presented to the widow. . . .
I am the musk rose opening
unattended, the fern on the boggy summit. . . .
I am the one whose love
overcomes you, already with you
when you think to call my name. . . .
Sunday, October 5, 2008
Her heart beat slowly and passionately. Breathing deeply. Her eyes were as wide open as ever before. Taking in everything, her heart felt to physically open up, expand and grow--like a flower blooming in one of those time lapse films. The petals reaching out to the world. Then came the butterflies. The subtleties of light embracing and bouncing off the buildings and trees through the misty clouds. The hazy glow of streetlights in the rain. The magnificent orange glow of the day's sun retiring--in contrast to dark aqua to navy skies and fluffy white clouds merging to dramatic anthracite filled with rain to come. The scene was like an impressionist painting come to life. How could she see things in life, almost exactly the way Monet or dear Van Gogh painted them on the canvas? Was it seeing through the filter of love? Was it the moment? It was all. It was it. The camera was dead. It did not matter. The moment is recorded in her mind forever. So special. So perfect. The love with that perfect city which reciprocates it all exponentially. One of the great loves of her life...... This is what loves feels like....
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
So much to tell. So many experiences. All the senses. Everything. I feel like I float down these streets. The star of a movie called life.
J'adore Paris. Beyond words.....
Does it get any better than this? If it does, WOW, I am even MORE excited!!!
Living in an apartment of my own for over a week. Walking the dog down Saint Germaine. Practicing my bad French. Cruising around the city at midnight on a motorcycle. And the Eiffel tower lit up like this? Does this stuff really happen? Yes, it does. Even for petite females from tiny towns in Virginia. I am not jaded. I am so appreciative of all of this. This is not to brag. I hope it is to inspire :)
I have to write some things not so vague about Jeremy's show and his so very perfect pop culture commentary on the fuel crisis "Let Them Eat Gas", this amazing luxury helmet designer, the intricate patterns and sculpture of the Manish Arora collection, and sooooooooooo much more.....
For now, easy way out:
Ateliers Ruby Luxury Helmets, Scarves, and so much more......
Dazed & Confused's Jefferson Hack on Jeremy's show
Jeremy Scott Party Pics
Some Runway Shots
JTrent+JScott. Me: Manish Arora jacket, Costume Dept. leggings, Laura Kranitz necklace, Mask from magician's store in Hollywood.
Ok, cut. We'll be on set tomorrow @ 9:30 AM for breakfast at the cafe on the corner of Voltaire.